Asian Female Relapses and Buys Her Third Gong Chat This Week
Asian Female Relapses and Buys Her Third Gong Chat This Week

“Haha. I bought another Gong Cha”. Angela Xi, 24.

After her fifth Gong Cha in as little as 10 days last month, Ms Xi swore to herself she would not buy Chatime for a very long time. Yet somehow the syrupy treat has found itself into her hands once again.

“I will never afford a property at this rate. Haha.”

The catalyst this time was a sizzling sichuan hot pot session with her anime buddies, where shortly after Ms Xi felt a uncompromisable need for a brown rice green milk tea with tapioca jelly to cool her inflamed taste buds.

“One is okay. I deserve this”

But Ms Xi’s mother would disagree. Speaking with The Yap Native, Gong Feng Xi, expresses deep fear and concern for her daughter’s state.

“She just can’t stop drinking them”, Mrs Gong Feng says, clutching the edge of her seat. “She says it’s not a problem and says she has it under control, but I’ve caught her drinking one so many times. I’ve seen her sneaking off at night to buy Gong Cha. She has no money anymore. She gonna get fat. What am I going to do?”

When The Yap Native informed Ms Xi of her mother’s concerns, Ms Xi became unnecessarily irate and aggressive.

“She can’t tell me what to do. F**k her. F**k YOU” she said, most uncordially. Ms Xi’s eyes were alarmingly bloodshot and her frenzied state revealed what appeared to be track marks on her upper elbow.


Ms Xi has been reported missing since this report last aired, last seen asking for loose change around Chatswood Gong Cha at Monday 2:37pm AEST.

If you or anyone knows of Ms Xi’s whereabouts, we urge you to contact local authorities.

If you know or are concerned with anyone who likes Gong Cha a little too much, please ask them what the hell is wrong with them.

More on this story as it unfolds.

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