Asian vs Western Parents
Asian vs Western Parents

Asian vs Western Parents

We’ve broken it down to a science.

If you’ve seen Crazy Rich Asians, or read the trilogy then you know how psycho Asian families (parents cough cough) are in comparison to their Western counterparts.

To help our brothers and sisters understand why, we’ve broken it down into 8 key differences, ssing scientifically proven research methods*.

*Methods such as observing our white friends around their parents, watching TV shows, speculating amongst our Asian friends.

Eight key differences between Asian and Western parents.

1. Freedom

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • No drugs
  • No boys / girlfriends
  • No going out until married
  • “This is a house, not a hotel”
  • No weekends, just study
  • Sometimes a liberal attitude towards drugs
  • Help you run parties when you’re a kid
  • Will buy you alcohol at 16
  • May have smoked weed when they were younger

2. Expectations

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Just study…there’s no need to develop social skills until 21
  • Play at least one musical instrument to 8th grade level
  • 95+ ATAR
  • Travel the world
  • Take a gap year after high school
  • Get the fuck out of my house once you’re 18
  • Become a well rounded (sport/arts) human

3. Reward / Praise

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Little praise
  • Will never say “Im proud of you”
  • Lot’s of praise
  • Compliments
  • Physical affection

4. Criticism

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Criticises you when you tell them a funny story
  • Cannes you when you make mistake
  • Will laugh it off when your teacher tells them that you are a bad kid
  • Give you a hug and say “well done” when you make mistakes

5. Values

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Family
  • Respect
  • Taking care of parents when they’re old
  • Eating dinner together at the table
  • Rest and recovery
  • Life experience
  • Independence
  • Expect to be put in a retirement home by their kids when they’re old

6. Racial bias

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Scared of other ethnic people
  • Hates other Asians
  • Do what you love
  • Find your passion
  • Self-discovery

7. Idea of success

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Study hard and become either a doctor, lawyer, accountant, dentist
  • Don’t follow your passion, it’s impractical
  • Get the house, 2 kids by 30
  • Sometimes a liberal attitude towards drugs
  • Help you run parties when you’re a kid
  • Will buy you alcohol at 16
  • May have smoked weed when they were younger

8. Dating

Asian Parents Western Parents
  • Must date same race
  • No sleeping over
  • As far as they are concerned you’ve never had sex before
  • Openly talk about your sex life with you
  • Low emphasis on marriage
  • If you’re a white daughter parents prefer you to marry white
  • If you’re a white son parents don’t care what nationality you marry

If you’ve gotten this far, here’s our book recommendation: The Crazy Rich Asians Trilogy.

It’s better than the movie. Not only is it hilarious, but it cuts right to the bone in it’s explanation of being Asian in a Western World.

Why do these difference exist? 

They say the apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree. This is the exact case with your Mum and Dad, who pass on their culture, values and outlook on life to their children.

Asian tiger parents, birthed out of necessity.

Coming from post-war contexts, Asian parents are an embodiment of pure determination to succeed against all odds. With this grit and hard work ethic, Asian parents typically aim to provide everything so their children can be ‘succesful’

Unfortunately this manifests itself as heavy pressure on their children to perform and avoid unnecessary distractions like discovery. But understand that it’s a result of these opportunities not being available when they were growing up. 

Expectations of Asian parents vs the expectations of the West

Asian children born into Western societies face the struggle of meeting the standards of their Asian heritage, whilst assimilating to the norms of the Western world.   

The expectations of Asian parents provide their children with one perspective, whilst their ones existence growing up in a western school / work place / life offers a perspective on the opposite end of the spectrum.

Known as the bamboo dissonance theory (Et Al. Casino, Liu, Zhang, 2014, The Yap Journal), Asian children must break the bamboo ceiling made by their parents, to discover Western approaches and find the happy middle ground.

Frequently asked questions when it comes Asian and Western parenting

How do Asian parents react to a b+?

If you’ve never had anything less than a B plus before then get ready for some major disappointment. But as the great Ghandi said, “This too shall pass” and like anything, there’s a silver lining. You’ll soon learn how to be honest with your parents when you bad news in the future (which will definitely happen). Dive in, as you’ll eventually have another B+ moment in life.

Why Asian parents don’t allow sleepovers?

This stems from their judgement of the other parents shortcomings Asian parents will conjure up all sorts of dark and unrealistic scenarios, ranging from you getting physical affection to them allowing you to drink alcohol as a minor.

But in reality, you’ll probably have way more fun at their house i.e watch violent films with sex scenes with their family.


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Asian parents are also afraid that Western parents will brainwash the kids, preaching self discovery and not needing to study as hard.

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