Cooked Archives - THE YAP NATIVE

Category: Cooked

Home / Cooked
Indian Family Mixes It Up And Goes Out For Indian Food
Post

Indian Family Mixes It Up And Goes Out For Indian Food

It’s payday and tonight Mr Sandhu has decided to treat himself. More importantly he’s giving his beloved wife the night off from cooking and treat the kids to something special. “We’re going Masala Grill kids, get ready,” He announces to his family. Mrs Sandhu gets her favourite suit ready as her oldest son, Aman groans...

Chinese Restaurant Owner Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your 1 Star Yelp Rating
Post

Chinese Restaurant Owner Doesn’t Give A Fuck About Your 1 Star Yelp Rating

Do you really think your 1 star review for this restaurant matters to the manager? This is a Chinese restaurant where the main demographic is surprise, Chinese people! Now I know what you’re thinking: “But Ignatious, what about when people Google ‘Chinese restaurants’ and yours comes up with bad reviews?” Listen up pal! The restaurant...

Asian Grandma Arrested After Hunting Australian Ibis For Fried Rice
Post

Asian Grandma Arrested After Hunting Australian Ibis For Fried Rice

NOT THE BIN CHICKEN! An Asian grandmother has been arrested after attempting to spear an Ibis in Sydney’s Hyde Park. Kim Kyung Bang (79, Kimchi making OG) was spotted carving a spear from a large tree branch, and throwing biscuits to attract Ibis birds at approximately 11:18am. Eye-witnesses confirmed they saw Grandma Kim attempting to...

Local Disappointment With MBA Can’t Make Round Rotis
Post

Local Disappointment With MBA Can’t Make Round Rotis

26 year old young professional Karthika Kapoor (‘K.K’. to her friends, ‘Useless’ to her Mother) has been on the phone to her mum recently trying to nail the atta to water ratio and not burn her rotis.  The senior product manager has overseen hundreds of successful product launches but seemingly can’t figure out how to...

Sydney Dealer Swears $300 Bag Is Uncut
Post

Sydney Dealer Swears $300 Bag Is Uncut

A low-level dealer by the name of Johnson Pham swears by purity of his cocaine. For any doubters, he offers his personal guarantee: It’s straight from the rock. While most of his customers are happy with this answer and happy enough to forego $300 for a bag of cocaine cut with speed and pesticides, todays customer...

Opinion: What-Tha-Fuk Is A Triple J Top 100?
Post

Opinion: What-Tha-Fuk Is A Triple J Top 100?

My name is Vanessa Truong and I’m from Cabramatta. As the intern of The Yap Natives, I’ve been getting a lot of emails to the company Facebook page that go like this: “Hey to whom it concerns…What did the YAP Natives vote on the Triple J Top 100s” First of all, What the fuck is...

Useless Cunt Overcooks The Waygu
Post

Useless Cunt Overcooks The Waygu

Local accounting student Thomas Lee (20) has tonight rendered himself as the useless cunt of the group. The Leo sealed his fate, after leaving the Wagyu beef to sizzle well done at this evenings Korean BBQ. “TGIF!” exhaled the useless cunt as he took his moment to soak in the atmosphere, whilst $50 of meat...

  • 1
  • 2
  • 6