Confidence Waning As Fade Enters Fourth Week Of Growth

Tongue to the side of mouth he turns up the concentration. Carefully, the Oztag enthusiast applies another layer of Pink Gatsby to his jet black hair. Next, he flattens down the sides with his palms.

After 30 minutes of careful work, the former Casanova is upgraded from a 5 to a 5.5. 

“Nah not coming out tonight,”

“Not feeling it”

When Martin Do got his most recent haircut at Gentlemen Jo’s last month, he was on top of the world.

“Fuck yeah” he grunted as he walked out with a skin to 3 shade and comb over on top.

“Who’s a big dawg”.

But, with his self-esteem at peak levels, the young finance professional got comfortable and forgot to cut his hair at the week 3 threshold.

The week 3 threshold refers to the perfect moment for Asian males to get another fade before week 4, where they become a guaranteed repellant of the female sex.

Sitting at 4 weeks and 2 days, Martin’s confidence is paper thin. But that’s not an excuse to not get lit tonight, according to the group chat.

“Stop being a bitch Martin just come out,” says Felix Peng. “Just wet the sides bro.”

“Already tried it cunt. I look like Sonic the Hedgehog”

“Paper biiitch” Teases Jerry Fu.

With his manhood under fire, Martin decides to settle with ‘The Gentleman’s Eyeshadow’.

“Fine I’ll come out,”

“I’ll just wear a hat,”

“And fuck off Jerry you can’t dress for shit.”

More on Martin’s regrowth to come.

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