Corporate Graduate Fired During Probation After Reselling Company Toilet Paper
Corporate Graduate Fired During Probation After Reselling Company Toilet Paper

Corporate Graduate Fired During Probation After Reselling Company Toilet Paper

SUPPLY AND DEMAND BABY 

JP Morgan Private Equities graduate Jack Long has always been more interested in his developing skills to run his own business, rather than serving a master forever. However, his latest business venture has gotten Jack sacked, before passing probation. 

Mr. Long was first reported by office cleaners to have stolen 50 rolls of toilet paper in one week. He would take up to 10 extra trips to the toilet per day, telling colleagues he must have “a small bladder, drank too much coffee” or something.

When being interrogated by HR, Jack was unapologetic. 

“I’m making $100 per roll Hannah”, he began. “That’s better than some of yous mid-level managers are making”

With the announcement of his termination shortly after interrogation, Jack was heard yelling out the following from reception

“I’m a private equity analyst, shouldn’t I be promoted for this hustle?!”

“You should’ve put the cleaning supplies on proper lockdown. People are punching each other at Woolies for these things.”

Starting at the early age of 9, Jack learned how to scam younger kids for their Pokemon cards, giving them Magikarps for their Gyrados cards. 

“From a young age I knew I was more of an entrepreneur, not your classic house-Asian pushover, aka a corporate slave.’

The Native caught up with Jack a month later to see how he was coping since his termination. 

“Life is great, I’ve expanded my operations.”

“I have a whole supply chain of corporate workers taking toilet paper from their work, which I deliver to people’s doors like UberEats.”

More news on corporate entrepreneurship to come.

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