Sometimes you just have to pinch yourself and be thankful for that special someone in your life.
That’s what Jenny Vo (27) did after snorting her 5th bump of coke by Sydney’s Noodle Markets, courtesy of babe.
“Sometimes I get a kiss, sometimes I get necklace” said the marketing professional. “Tonight I get a bumps”
The cute cunt in question – Cabramatta’s James Huynh (29) – initially told friends he was bringing out the aggy-bays to help ‘rinse palettes’ in between bites of Baos, Dumplings and Pulled Noodles.
But as date night commenced, it became apparent that the full-time banker and part-time student of romanticism had one motive.
“Have a bump before you sip that cider babe”
Huynh followed up the gesture with his key in one hand, and the aggy-bays in another, essentially melting Jenny’s heart again, like Romeo once did Juliet.
“Aw my gawd. You didn’t babe. Fawr-me?” said the shocked Gemini, even though babe has brought the aggy-bay to the last 20 dates.
“Lucky girl I am. Sqa-wueeze you”
While bringing half a gram of cocaine to any event from high school graduations to weddings has become a social norm for millennials, there still appears to be no greater surprise or romantic gesture available.
“It’s a romantic bag for tricks, literally” said our part-time dating expert Vannessa Truong.
“If you’ve said something a little weird on your date, just whip out the rocks you knows?”
“Like, have a line when you’re in the line. Ha ha… get it?”
James however, who’s both adopted drug use as a personality trait and used the same strategy to keep the zest in his 5-year relationship alive, refuses to be pigeon holed like everyone else in his demographic.
“I’m diverse bro got heaps of hobbies aye”
“I’m going Oztag world cup and after that we’ve booked a trip to Melbourne for Knockout Outdoor.”
“Might get an eight ball for that but haha”
Upon the conclusion of date night, the couple went back to the area to do some more lines and some more unique activities like kareoke.
“Massive lines, good food though” they told their friends.
Introducing our first ever merch:
More romance to come.