Enjoying Durian Probably Means She’s A Bit Of A Freak

Occasionally you can tell a person’s character simply from their food preferences, and occasionally you can see their entire sexual history play out in front of you. And so it was the case when Sam met Sal on Saturday.

The premise of the evening didn’t begin this way. Blacktown bred, Samuel De Rivera was simply enjoying a whisky and coke at his friend Jacob’s birthday drinks, when along came Sally Chung onto the rooftop bar.

De Rivera thought Chung was kinda cute so he decided to ‘test the waters’ and introduce himself. They hit it off straight away.

With his beige chinos, gentleman’s haircut and new found silver tongue, Sam seemingly could do wrong.

Then, noticing a pineapple in Sally’s drink, he threw caution to the wind.

“You probably like durian too aye”

“Umm..” said Sally, adjusting her black choker. “I actually do”

“I like my fruit creamy.”

Like an early 2000’s household movie projector, an image of Sam submitting to a tight bondage session with Sally as his commander, began to flash in front of his eyes.

Before the scene could play out any further, Sam was brought back to the present dialogue by the young law students wit.

“I mean, I know it’s a little weird…but at least I don’t eat Cadbury Fruit and Nut”.

The image of nuts crunching and the sound of whips lashing, further intensified as Sally grabbed Sams wrist and brought herself closer to his ear.

“Don’t tell me you eat fruit and nuts” she whispered.


Introducing our first ever merch:

The LB x LG Tee


Sam downed the rest of the drink, not knowing what pain [enjoyment] was to come.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.