Gweilo Can’t Wait To Order $18 Cha Siu At Yumcha

Local advertising professional and stage 4 gweilo, Alison Piper simply cannot wait for lunch today.

It’s the end of financial year, and in celebration for hitting targets, the Social Media team has booked a succulent feast at the premiere CBD yum cha.

Alison, who did gender studies at uni, prides herself on understanding all walks of culture. So as the table gets seated, she takes charge and begins ordering a few staples.

“One Ha Gao please. Can we also get some Jasmine Tea?” 

“I’m not like other white people” adds Piper. “I like a bit of Cha in my life”

The approval of one of Alison’s Asian coworkers: “good choice Al!” is exactly the validation she is looking for. She’s ready to blow the team away with her next order.

She orders the Cha Siu from the kitchen. And Bok Choi. And a bowl of rice. For good measure she reminds the waiter to bring the Hoisin sauce. 

“I love Shanghainese cuisine” 

The two dishes are reheated and served at the modest price of $18 each. Alison encourages the table to eat everything together to bring out the flavours. 

“It’s like a total party in my mouth guys. Get. On. This.”

Little does she know her Asian co-workers are giving each other the ‘you fucking serious?’ look to each other across the table. Meanwhile, the dessert waitresses have upgraded Alison’s status to Stage 6 Gweilo and are now walking towards her.

“Omg is that mango sago? Stop it”

More on this lunch soon.

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