Japanese BBQ Restaurants See 700% Uptick In Basic Bitch Clientele

Earlier today, 25 year old Cancer and pop-star hybrid Ariana Grande proudly instagrammed her latest tattoo. The Japanese characters, which intended to say ‘7 Rings!’, actually read ‘BBQ Grill’, as was pointed out by the Twitter universe.

While the photo has now been deleted, the consequences have already been felt.

One Brisbane-based Japanese BBQ owner Shu Yamamoto says he’s seen roughly a 300% uptick in basic bitch clientele since he added a saved screenshot of the photo to his shopfront shortly after.

“Just minutes later I see 3 Vietnamese girl with fake ears come in and ask for today’s horoscopes”

“That’s 3 more than I’ve ever had”

Owner of competing restaurant Kai Kawasaki however says Shu is two steps behind. Kawasaki, who’s managed to bring in 7 basic bitches (700% uptick) of various star signs reveals his method:

“I simply changed our name from Samurai BBQ Grill to 七輪” BBQ Grill”

“Business now booming”

The change effectively makes its name ‘BBQ Grill BBQ Grill’. And despite this morning’s news, no one seems to care.

“They don’t even know I serve them Coles Rump instead of Wagyu either. I love the internet”

We spoke to one fellow Cancer Anastasia Le to get her feedback on 七輪” BBQ Grill.

“Foods great, but would be better if they played 7 Rings”.


Introducing our first ever merch:

The LB x LG Tee


More spice to come.

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