A local dealer known as the the TP DD recently invited us for an inside look to his shady, yet lucrative operation – counterfeit 4-ply toilet paper.
“First we bought 2 ply off the dark web,” he starts.
“Then we walk into Mcdonalds or Hungry Jacks, always in different locations to mix it up, and we stash as much of that single ply garbage they have into our pockets.
“Can you believe they provide that shit? And they call me the con, unbelievable.” He mutters to himself.
The TP DD puts on some sanitising gloves and covers his face with a ski mask.
“Anyway we grab that shit and we peel back the double ply and layer up that puppy and then reseal it.”
The TP DD takes off gloves and Kobe’s them into the garbage can.
“And voila! 4 ply paper, $21 a roll.”
Impressed, our crew feels the newly cut TP.
“It’s almost undetectable!” Compliments Jenny.
The dealer walks us through his switch from pushing drugs to pushing paper.
“I move where the market moves homeboy. Facemasks and hand sanitizer are next.”
“Banditos” he whispers to himself as he caresses his product.