In a joint study by ASOS.com, General Pants Australia and 24 year old fashionista, Margaret Zhang, the group of clothing pioneers have confirmed what most of us have been thinking: Asian blokes in Australia are simply just more fashionable than their bros over in the states
“It’s undeniable that USA-sians are a step behind when it comes to fashunnn” says Alframeda Lopez, head of inventory at ASOT. “Especially amongst young males”
“If you look at the amount of cargo shorts Asian guys in America still buy, its fucking alarming”
In the interest of journalistic balance, TYN spoke to a UCLA Senior who said he just doesn’t want to dress like a little bitch.
“So what if my button shirt is too wide and jeans come past the heel of my sneakers…at least I ain’t no bitch” said Tony Pham, pointing to his wardrobe of Ralph Lauren dress shirts and 7 pairs of boat shoes.
According to social influencer, commentator and self-made fashion police, Margaret Zhang however, Tony is caught up in a vicious cycle of fashion crime.
“What Mr Pham has to realise is that by #GrowingUpAsian in California, he was likely exposed to a mix of heavy American masculinity and various elements of hip hop culture including its fashion and slang [to be read in one breath]”
“This manifests itself as poorly fitted streetwear on the weekdays and Hawaiian shirts with boat shoes on vacation [to be read in one breath]”
“The result is perpetual, widespread, abuse to the name of style, aesthetics and dress sense [to be read in one breath]”
While it’s possible that Mr Pham could catch a common disease known as wanderlust, end up travelling outside of the United States, and eventually experience an FED (Fashion Ego Death), the self proclaimed gym bro is content on not being a European cuc.
“Nice short shorts bro”
Fashion Ego Death is a phenomena often experienced by serial perpetrators of fashion crime upon entering another culture where fitted styles are normalised and the baseline level of dress sense is pretty good.