Mate Who's Shit At Basketball Picks Up Jiu-Jitsu
Mate Who’s Shit At Basketball Picks Up Jiu-Jitsu

Mate Who’s Shit At Basketball Picks Up Jiu-Jitsu

After 10 years of a struggling pick up basketball career, Phillip Mendez (Blacktown) has decided to hang up his Kevin Durant OKC jersey and don the gi as he makes a tactical transition into Jiu Jitsu. 

“It’s a game of Chess, but with the body.” Says the man who struggled setting up a simple basketball screen for his team mates.

“BJJ is 80% mental, 20% physical and 100% heart.”

Phillip has long disregarded the UFC as a “sport for wannabe Irishmen and criminals” but claims BJJ gives him a deeper understanding of the sport than most. 

“While most people like a good stand up striking match I prefer to see how the fighters handle themselves on the ground.”

“It’s a game of wits. And if you can guess, I do like analogies”

A month into his training and Jocko podcasts, Phillip flexes his knowledge on his casual friends whilst watching the UFC at a local bar. 

“Nothing better than a good sweep from an open guard from the bottom position.”

Phillip takes a quick glance around to see if anyone has acknowledged his insightful comment but receives zero feedback.

“Fucking casuals,” he mutters to himself.

Two months later, Phillip attempts to apply his masterful knowledge of BJJ in a submission grappling match with a competitive wrestler visiting his gym to expand his skill base. 

Finding himself pinned, Phillip attempts to use a sweep he learned in the intermediate class. For some reason it doesn’t work. 

He spends the rest of the roll under a full mount, leaving the gym angry and confused.

“Why didn’t that work against a white belt?”


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“This sports bullshit.”

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