Newlywed Asians Giving Hong Baos at CNY Consider Divorce Next Year | Yap Native
Newlywed Asians Giving Hong Baos at CNY Consider Divorce Next Year

Newlywed Asians Giving Hong Baos at CNY Consider Divorce Next Year

KUNG HEI FAT CHOI

Newlyweds ‘The Lees’ Allan and Livia Lee had recently tied the knot.

“Ah, finally some financial breathing room!” exhaled Allan as they came back from their honeymoon last month.

But woe unto them. It’s Chinese New Year and the fiscal spending has only just got started.

To prepare red packets for their cousins, sacrifices had to be made.

Allan had to sell off some of the Bitcoin he was holding, and Livia had to put off one of her handbag purchases from Céline.

The entire Lee clan starts to roll into the restaraunt, being fashionably late by 10 minutes, standard.

Their little cousins eagerly say hi to everyone, knowing that the annual Chinese pay day is about to arrive, in the form of beautiful red packets with golden Chinese writing on them.

“When do I get my Hong Bao?” one little bastard asks his mum.

“Quiet Henson, don’t be so rude” his mum barks as she slaps him back to Hong Kong.

Suddenly extended relatives from China burst into the scene.

“What is Uncle Perry and Auntie Kristine doing here?” Livia asks Allan.

“That’s another 5 Hong Baos for their kids, fuck.”

“I’ll go to the ATM” Allan replies.

“That’s another $300, get it out of the long term savings. We might have to start driving Uber too..” Livia weeps violently.

More spicy tales from Chinese New Year to come.

 

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