Cabra Drug Dealer To Be Extra Friendly To Gay Community Tonight
Cabra Drug Dealer To Be Extra Friendly To Gay Community Tonight

Johnny Tran (28, Cabramatta) has always liked his heterosexuality. 

But what the mid-level dealer has always loved is an aggressive spike in tax-free earnings during festival season.

“Midnight Mafia, Knockout, Split Milk, Mardi Gras…same shit different smell,” begins Jonny as he snorts a light entree of finely cut gluten-free coke in front of his other drug dealer mates.

“It’s just passive income boys”

That’s why tonight, the former Business student will be heading down the great western highway to celebrate love of all kinds.

”Just going to see some of my gay brothers, they need me tonight”

And for the right price, Johnny might even take his unregistered Honda Civic Type R to the Eastern Suburbs.

“It’s a bit sus, but if it means I can finish my tiger back-piece next month then fuck it cuz.”

As Johnny loads up his boot with 3 protein tubs filled with an assortment of MDMA caps, import pills and 8-balls of cocaine, our reporter asks how he feels about the gay community the other 364 days of the year, 

 

Introducing our first ever merch:

The LB x LG Tee

 

“Love is love cuz, did you vote yes?”

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