After spending the better part of his 2 lunch break working from home doing his best Masterchef impression, local culture enthusiast Tobias Chan is ready to add the ‘cherry on top’.
“Bit of Sircacha on my stir fry noodles boy!” He shouts out to his empty house. “Am I Reynold or?”
It’s the perfect condiment for any meal. A combination of spice, salt and a touch of sour. Tobias mouth is watering just thinking about it.
But woe onto him. It appears Tobias forgot to empty the Sriracha Precum.
Sriracha Precum is the watery residual that’s often present when a Sriacha bottle is opened again after previous use. Although not confirmed, many believe it’s caused by not closing the lid correctly.
“Urgh!” he grimaces as residual Sriacha ‘pre-cum’ drips onto his hokkien noodles. “Who the fuck didn’t close the lid?”
“Fucking housemates I swear.”
Tobias’ housemate Jeremy Nguyen says Tobias should stop leaving dishes in the sink before he worries about the use of the Sriacha bottle.
“And he hasn’t cleared Splitwise either the fuckwit.”
Introducing our first ever merch:
More Sriracha to cum.