If you ask Charlene Zhang what comes to mind when you say the words ‘Asian’ and ‘fettish’ she’ll tell you it’s a gross way white men reenforce societies current power structures.
However, that doesn’t mean the 23 year old doesn’t have hopes and dreams.
Specifically, dreams where she begins a secret romance with the lead character from Suits, Harvey Specter.
That’s why her steamy relationship with Mr Specter will begin at the grad job she just scored at one of Sydney’s top legal firms, where she is Rachel Zane, and her boss will be a mid 30s Caucasian dreamboat with broad shoulders, who for some reason, has yellow fever.
“Of course, he’ll be wearing one of those sexy Navy suits that the sexy men with power wear” Charlene tells The Native she once wrote in her diary.
“Actually no it’s going to be grey because he’s feeling serious on a Monday!”
“But seriously, it doesn’t matter because I’ll be fixated on that perfect hair and brown eyes”
Note: When asked if she is aware that Rachel actually gets with Mike not Harvey, Charlene told our reporter to go fuck Mike and his dumb skinny tie.
“Anyways, once all the grads have done induction, he’ll give me a personal tour of the floor because he noticed the ‘hot Asian grad with a messy bun’ flustered and staring at him the whole time”
“After the tour that’s when he’ll say ‘Into my office Ms Zhang’ because get it Ms Zane? Lol”
“I’ll play it cool and say ‘I thought you’d never ask Mr Specter’”
“Then, we’ll start hooking up in his office and just as it gets hot and heavy I’ll cut him off and say ‘next time mister’”
At this point Charlene began to fan herself and ask for some water. Our reporter got water for himself and fucked off to his next job to investigate Big 4 Drug Culture.
It’s now confirmed that Ms Zhang’s boss is actually a 58 year old Caucasian dinosaur who still uses a Blackberry and has in Zhang’s words a ‘wrinkly handshake’. He also has yellow fever.
Charlene has since doubled down on her original stance on Asian Fetishes as ‘extremely sick’
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For the love of god, no more on this story to come.