With the current state of the economy in a downturn thanks to the novel coronavirus, one area drug dealer has applied for the government’s JobKeeper assistance payment.
The assistance program, which is part of the Australian government’s COVID-19 stimulus package, is designed to help small business owners keep paying any staff that have been stood down, so that on the other side of the crisis, jobs are kept and businesses remain open.
For Johnny ‘Hard Hustle’ Huynh however, it’s not quite as simple as putting some fake details in the app store and downloading Telegram,
(or signing up for a free webinar on software engineering)
The program has a rigorous approval process, which involves showing how one’s revenue is impacted by the pandemic and a record of any employee’s salaries, or Johnny’s case, his runner’s.
“What do you mean keep my receipts?” the 30 year old entrepreneur yells at Barbara from Centrelink.
“Are you fucking cooked? Telegram deletes all receipts after you send them. It’s called end-to-end encryption Barbara”
After slamming the hangup button and making no progression on his application, Johnny takes down the following in his Gucci diary.
“Get the boys on Employment Hero”
More spice to come.
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