A low-level dealer by the name of Johnson Pham swears by purity of his cocaine.
For any doubters, he offers his personal guarantee: It’s straight from the rock.
While most of his customers are happy with this answer and happy enough to forego $300 for a bag of cocaine cut with speed and pesticides, todays customer Harry Chu (29), happens to be a bit of a cocaine aficionado.
“Yeah so, I’ve been backpacking South America aye”
“I think it’s supposed to be a bit more powdery aye”
Johnson, who is all about customer service, offers his assurances:
“Um yeah well, nah but. It’s straight from the rock”
After snorting a quick slug of 5/10 product from the dealers Lancer Evo, Harry is certain it’s a diluted version of the pow he experienced back on his hostel rooftop in Buenos Aires.
“I’m sorry bro… but it’s not like Argentina”
No problem. Johnston repeats the same rebuttal like it’s a new one.
“Nah. It’s straight from the rock. See? Nah like seriously, touch it.”
He then adds some drug-lingo to throw Harry off:
“Bro it’s a point and half. I mean 2 points and a half. Nah trust me bro it’s good”
“It’s straight from the rock”
At this stage, Harry realises he won’t be getting the beautiful marching powder he bought in glass viles, gallivanting from Patagonia to Central America in 2016.
Harry also remembers that he has a birthday event on Sydney Harbour this Saturday. He’ll need enough stamina so he can binge drink from 12pm to 3am.
“Can you do 2 for 500?”
Introducing our first ever merch:
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