Following the ban of international travellers from China due to the Coronavirus, UNSW has taken drastic new measures to maintain enrolment numbers.
After bashing the Chinese International Students cash cow for decades the recruiting staff is looking at a more distant (metaphorically) option.
“We’ve heard rumours of a large number of immigrant children out west somewhere,” said the marketing officer. “Someplace called ‘The Riff?’
“They’re apparently Australian but after interviewing some of them we have reason to believe they might be lying about their citizenship.”
We spoke to George from Penrith about his enrolment application at UNSW.
“I was going to go WSU cuz there’s mad Gangas and shit there but I got to make my Mum proud and get a legit degree aye.”