Viet Girl With No Self-Respect Buys Roll’d For Third Time This Week
Viet Girl With No Self-Respect Buys Roll’d For Third Time This Week

After finding herself in the line of Roll’d for the third time in six days, Jackie Nguyen finally came to the realisation: She pretty much has no self-respect for herself.

The epiphany arrived as Jackie took a moment to reflect on her current reality of overpriced Vietnamese street food (toned down to appease the taste buds of white people), tacky Sriracha bottle fittings to mimic the ambience of Hoi An, and a 100% non-Asian clientele.

“I actually hate myself” She said to the Anglo-Saxon cashier as she tapped off on a $12 rice paper roll.

With most of her time this semester spent on campus finishing her degree, the third year marketing student rarely found herself eating at home. Before she knew it, Jackie had forgotten what Vietnamese food tasted like.

Forgetting what self-respect looked like, would soon follow.

As class finished one day, Jackie decided to give Roll’d a shot. After all, she was with her caucasian friend, Charlotte, who might enjoy the ‘Viet Baguette’ on offer.

“Gee this is spicy,” gasped Charlotte as she coughed out the lemon grass.

Unfortunately, this misadventure would not be the last. After ‘not minding’ the superbly average Banh Mi on Monday, Jackie got Roll’d again on Tuesday. Then again on Wednesday.

By the third session, Jackie had already transitioned to a mayonnaise-flour dependent pallette. In other words, every item from Roll’d was just on the boundary of ‘too much flavour’ and ridiculously tasty.

“What’s wrong with you?” She said moaning as she took a bite of a smoked salmon rice paper roll filled with mayonnaise.

As Jackie sat in the food court by herself for the next 40 minutes, she began to think of ways she could degrade her dignity further.

“Ooh maybe I’ll get in touch with my ex or start watching Bachelor re-runs on Youtube.”

“But let me savour this taste first”

[more moaning]

The Native got in touch with Jackie’s best Viet friend Kathleen who says she’s not angry, just disappointed with Jackie’s life choices.

“We accept the love we think we deserve”

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