White Person Who Eats Poke Bowls Reckons They’re Cultured

Nathan Hillier (25) carefully selects the ingredients from his local poke place, salmon, seaweed salad, wasabi peas, almonds and of course a generous dollop of avocado for all the gains.

Strutting into his corporate office lunch room, gasps and eyes follow his direction as he holds the bowl out in front of him with a 45 degree tilt to subtly reveal the logo of his poke club.

“Where’s that from Nate? Looks like a mad feed dude.”

“Pokeball, it’s the bomb. They do loyalty cards too.” Nathan replies smugly as he cracks open the lid to devour the contents.

“Oh my gaaaaaad yaaaaaas, is that poke? I looove poke it’s so good for you” says one of many local office basic bitches, crowding around Nathan and instantly breaking his poke zen bubble.

“Yep it looks good hey, want to Snapchat it? I’m even using chopsticks so don’t call me a Gwei Lo!’ Nathan laughs.

“Omgaaad Nathan you’re so cultured, you might as well be asian.”

Another day of running the office, Nathan DM’s his YAP friend Paul Park, “good bloody recommendation Pauly! Let me know what other foods you guys have been hiding from us.”

Through Nathan and other ethnic test subjects, the Food Studies United (FSU) have concluded that ordering a poke bowl will make you the most cultured person in your workplace.


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The Native will continue to observe and relay fresh insights to the public of ethnic groups and their exploration of eastern cuisine.

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