Young Asian ‘Kevin’ Considers His Career Options
Young Asian ‘Kevin’ Considers His Career Options

Young Asian ‘Kevin’ Considers His Career Options

Kevin Ho, 13 years of age, is at a very formative stage in his life. He is currently sitting with Mr. Dennis Chang, the school’s guidance counselor, in Mr Chang’s office.

“So Kevin, your choices are pretty open now. You can be anyone you want to be. Bible study Kevin? Do you want to be bible study Kevin?”

Kevin pauses. “What’s bible study Kevin?”

“You sit in someone’s house on Friday night and read the bible”, says Mr Chang.

“That sounds uhh … What else?”

“How about rave-bae Kevin? That’s where you go to the gym a lot so you can take your shirt off at festivals, and you give girls who are wearing pretty much no clothes shoulder rides”.

“Wow that sounds … pretty good?”

“Or there’s investment banker Kevin. You wear an expensive suit and make shitloads of money, but you work 100 hours a week. And no one likes you”.

“Uhh .. that sounds like a lot of work”

“Well if you don’t like working, you can be DD Kevin”.

“What’s that?”

“DD – drug dealer Kevin. You get some tats, message people through Telegram and sell cocaine from your car. When you’re not working, you just smoke weed all day”.

“Umm uh… I don’t know what to say. How do you know all this?”

“I know! You can be fuccboi Kevin! You get a sick fade and you message girls “U up?” at 2am, then ghost them for the next one”

“Um..”

“So Kevin what’s it going to be? What do you like?”

“Um… I like anime? My friend showed me this funny Korean drama…”

“Get out of my office”.

Exclusive interviews with modern day Asians. Follow: @youngasianprofessionals

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.