“He’s Upstairs! Under the bed!”
A Chatswood boy has today broken what’s known as the unbreakable sibling vow.
Nicholas Hem (15) had been keeping cover for his older sister Nina (19), who had been seeing her first boyfriend for about 6 months now.
However, after a few back-to-back last minute sleepovers and one too many late night phone calls, Mum began to get Asian Mum Paranoid.
Which is when Nicholas broke the unbreakable vow.
“Where your sister been going? Who she hang out with?”
“No idea mother, I think she’s been studying with her friend Julia”
While Hai Lo Hem (45) doesn’t understand the nuances of modern day romance, she has seen Mulan, meaning she has a keen smell for kid-to-parent betrayal.
Drawing inspiration from another film American Gangster, Hai Lo made use of what’s known as a bribe.
“Nicolas, here’s your pocket money for this week” she said flashing a fifty dollar bill.
“No need to lie to me son, your sister will understand”
The high school student who had pinky promised his sister remained strong.
“I don’t know Mum”
Mum then flashed a second bill, raising the stakes for the jobless Xbox enthusiast.
“Now tell me where he-”
“-Upstairs! Under the bed. His names Sebastian and he doesn’t go to uni”
Shortly after, Hai Lo found a half naked Sebastian under Nina’s bed. As she dragged the fitness instructor out by the ear, we were able to get a few comments from all parties.
“Nick is a little rat!” Screamed Nina. “I’m telling Mum about his hentai addiction”
“And don’t touch his face Mum!!”
“My daughter not allowed boyfriend until marriage or mortgage unless he doctor” replied Hai Lo to both us and a tearful Nina.
In the chaos, the boys also left their thoughts.
“You guys tried the porn hub premium version?” Said a smiling Nick.
Sebastian, who ran to his car parted with the following,
“Fuck these psycho parents I’m going for a white girl next”.
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